sportsman of the year!

Click here to see who im blackmailing...Poopman

My Love

these letter just keep on comin'!!!


dear readers of doo doo butter,

i would just like to announce that i am so in love! i am finally going to settle down after a very long time of looking for that special someone! we met 10 years ago. i was his teacher and i was with him in every contest that he's been in. after a long and hard raod, we finally decided to settle down. our love blossomed into a wonderful piece of artwork! a sonnet! a song! i always hear music playing whenever im with him...
the was a time in our lives when the people around us didn't approve of our relationship, but in time they gave way for our happines... yes, im older...but age doesn't matter...
pls publish our pic!
i want the whole world to see!!!

thank you so much! and best regards!!!

love,

Helen of Tokyo







what the future holds....










dear helen,

good for you! when it comes to buffing his ass...wax in, wax out...

with haste,
doodoo

Last Night...

hi folks! im back wid some new emails... here is an email from Jessie Smith. and he writes:

dear mr. butter,

i just want to say that im a big critic of your site because i expected to read more real world letters than fake ass articles. i had a big party last night at my house and we discussed some stuff about your site. there were mixed opinions and im tellin you, some were nasty and some were nice! i couldn't quite remember everything that weve discussed but basically i just wanted everybody to know that dont really appreciate your site and i actually hate all those who like it. i just want to see hard core in depth looks into the life of people! not some useless guide in life that no one can use! can you understand?! i want real pictures of real people and real quotes from real folks! the thing i hate about your site is the inaccuracy of the articles! its all a pile of (from my point of view) bullshit! no offense!

sincerely yours,

Jessie "The Big Gun" Smith


Dear Jessie,

don't worry! none taken! i appreciate criticism especially from readers! i have actually talked to some of the guys who attended your party last night. and they told me that maybe you were a little drunk last night thats why you were talking and talking. you know what? the reason why you couldn't remeber much was... oh well... just look at the pic that your "friends" sent me! i hope this clears everything up!
thank you and more power...big gun...

Love,
Big Pimpin'





















ohhhh! that's why u didn't remember!!! you slept like a baby!!!

How To Be A Pimp

Another award winning email:

Whats crackin cap’n? PC is straight serving up "How to be a Pimp". This is real deal Holyfield pimp-in. We’ll spit game on how to keep your pimp hand strong and your white girls workin.

There Are Five Main Principals Of Pimp-ology:

1. Pimp-in Yo Clothes.
2. Pimp-in Yo Ride.
3. Pimp Game.
4. Pimp-in Ho's.
5. Pimp-in Ain't Easy.

So come on homie... Step inside and let PC show you how to pull off this Pimp vibe.

Pimp-in Yo Clothes:
Step #1: If you gonna work the art... You gotta look the part! Drape up from the floor up and kill those tired-ass old kicks. Sport some gators for the true capers. As for your bottoms: Room is the key, cuz real pimps let it hang free. Make sure your shirts are pressed up and keep poppin those collars. Oh yeah... capes are the shit but don’t get it twisted... furs are the way to keep those Ho’s interested.

Step #2: Hook up’s are the shit. Like your pimp stick... It’s a crucial hook up cuz chin checking and knuckling back are tools of the trade. So tilt your brim when you dealin in skin, cuz dome pieces let 'em know you paid. Then bling-bling-a-bling-a- bling cause no Ho can resist a platinum and diamond beveled ring.

Step #3: Peep game: Don't forget to take a shower! Cuz smelling so fresh and so clean ain't just a song homie... It's knowledge! Crack open a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier or some other fine pimp fragrance.

Pimp-in Yo Ride:
If you riding in a rust bucket... It’s time to say "Fuck It". Cuz no Ho works all night long, brings dough from Joe Blow and sings that song. So throw it in the gutter and go buy another.

You ain’t gotta be in a Caddie to be a Pimp Daddy. Just make sure it’s clean. When in doubt... Chevy Cutlass it out. Tint that shit first thing. Next, slap on some rims that spin... That’s how you start to get that skin.

Now step inside and peep yo ride. It’s sheep skin covers for bang’n ruckus... But fur dice and plasmas make your shit the toughest. One last thing: Keep pimp-in yo ride from the outside-in and the Ho’s will know you're pimp-in skin.

Pimp Game:
Pimp-in is a mind set... And you need to check yours. When you know you pimp-in, I mean really know your pimp-in, the Ho’s will too.

Game or (Pimp Juice) as it is sometimes called, is like your mojo. The kind of shit nigga’s kill fo. So peep the Pimp Game... By now your style should be in order and when you look like a pimp you can start to feel like a pimp.

You keeping up with PC homie? A'ight then... Time to move on to the Ho's.

Pimp-in Ho's
With pride you enter a room... Knowing every Ho sees you, and with style you glide through. But pay those Ho's no mind. Cuz as you peeped when you came through, know those Ho’s peeped too.

But don’t get it twisted, all that glimmering ice got those Ho’s listen’n. When the Ho’s come to holler, break 'em off Game that’s proper. Ask the questions, then listen, she’ll tell you her saga. Be her counselor, psychologist, priest and her father. Then she'll be that ho... now that’s the Don Dada.

Pimp-in Ain't Easy
But somebody’s gotta do it!

Look... you can’t have all the beauty and none of the booty. Like lazy-ass Ho’s or the damn Po-Po. Just when yo spot starts to make a knot, "One-Times" there to kill the whole plot. You gotta deal with the strung and the spun... and believe me that ain’t no fun. But the worst is the time in a cell, cuz you be mad as hell when you ain’t got no bail.

Sincerely yours,

Reggie "Pimp-a-nymph" Shabazz

Keepin' it Gangsta

hatemail #18:

Dear Doodoo Bitch,

sup foo?! what u talkin bout bein' the best "G" up in this piece? im the realest gangsta of all time! i killed 5 infants in 2 months! beat dat u fuckin cock sucka! i raped 17 women including those over 40 and some disabled chicks! i fucked them and sent them home packin'! i aint playin when i say that im gon beat yo ass to a fuckin pulp bitch!!!
you gosta understand that to become a real gangsta, y'all should live large, play big and always say "it aint nuthin but a G thang bay-be"
attached is a pic during my seventeenth birthday! during that time, i have killed da playa haters and fucked up the skanks!
i posted a pic because i want y'all to get a scary image of me.
this is Dave "D-Killa" Lugen signin' off! Hilltown Mall Killas! Represent!!!
Keepin it gangsta! what? what?!

boo-ya!!!

Undercover Fan

i admit, eversince i have started to update my blogsite, i have recieved 10's of thousands of mail everyday. but there is one mail that caught my eye. frankly, it made me get goosebumps because of the depth of this guys courage.

oh well, to cut the long story short, here is his letter. i have translated it so that everything would be easier:

Virago et nu bien (Greetings from Slovania)

i am Mickey Nubleski. i am big fan of NBA buit unfortoonatly i am also a secret spy from our country, and i was assigned to monitor and guard the activities of the nBA basketbol players on and off the court. i have been een the league for quite a while now and i can say that i am now a superstar in my own right. fans have dubbed me as the next iverson. i have earned the nicknames like Superstart, Slofast, Darkey and Killer. i play so good that i can control the management of the team (even the coach). i just tell him when i want to get into the game. he knows that he cannot tell me what to do. so i just enter the game whenever i want. this is the first time ever that i have come out of the open. that is why i want to show the world that i am not stoopid, i just want a low profile. attached is a picture with me taken by my bestfriend Joohan. thanks and Luk da Kuk( lick my penis)

certainly,

Mickey "Fine and Dine" Nubleski