sportsman of the year!

Click here to see who im blackmailing...Poopman

My Love

these letter just keep on comin'!!!


dear readers of doo doo butter,

i would just like to announce that i am so in love! i am finally going to settle down after a very long time of looking for that special someone! we met 10 years ago. i was his teacher and i was with him in every contest that he's been in. after a long and hard raod, we finally decided to settle down. our love blossomed into a wonderful piece of artwork! a sonnet! a song! i always hear music playing whenever im with him...
the was a time in our lives when the people around us didn't approve of our relationship, but in time they gave way for our happines... yes, im older...but age doesn't matter...
pls publish our pic!
i want the whole world to see!!!

thank you so much! and best regards!!!

love,

Helen of Tokyo







what the future holds....










dear helen,

good for you! when it comes to buffing his ass...wax in, wax out...

with haste,
doodoo

Last Night...

hi folks! im back wid some new emails... here is an email from Jessie Smith. and he writes:

dear mr. butter,

i just want to say that im a big critic of your site because i expected to read more real world letters than fake ass articles. i had a big party last night at my house and we discussed some stuff about your site. there were mixed opinions and im tellin you, some were nasty and some were nice! i couldn't quite remember everything that weve discussed but basically i just wanted everybody to know that dont really appreciate your site and i actually hate all those who like it. i just want to see hard core in depth looks into the life of people! not some useless guide in life that no one can use! can you understand?! i want real pictures of real people and real quotes from real folks! the thing i hate about your site is the inaccuracy of the articles! its all a pile of (from my point of view) bullshit! no offense!

sincerely yours,

Jessie "The Big Gun" Smith


Dear Jessie,

don't worry! none taken! i appreciate criticism especially from readers! i have actually talked to some of the guys who attended your party last night. and they told me that maybe you were a little drunk last night thats why you were talking and talking. you know what? the reason why you couldn't remeber much was... oh well... just look at the pic that your "friends" sent me! i hope this clears everything up!
thank you and more power...big gun...

Love,
Big Pimpin'





















ohhhh! that's why u didn't remember!!! you slept like a baby!!!

How To Be A Pimp

Another award winning email:

Whats crackin cap’n? PC is straight serving up "How to be a Pimp". This is real deal Holyfield pimp-in. We’ll spit game on how to keep your pimp hand strong and your white girls workin.

There Are Five Main Principals Of Pimp-ology:

1. Pimp-in Yo Clothes.
2. Pimp-in Yo Ride.
3. Pimp Game.
4. Pimp-in Ho's.
5. Pimp-in Ain't Easy.

So come on homie... Step inside and let PC show you how to pull off this Pimp vibe.

Pimp-in Yo Clothes:
Step #1: If you gonna work the art... You gotta look the part! Drape up from the floor up and kill those tired-ass old kicks. Sport some gators for the true capers. As for your bottoms: Room is the key, cuz real pimps let it hang free. Make sure your shirts are pressed up and keep poppin those collars. Oh yeah... capes are the shit but don’t get it twisted... furs are the way to keep those Ho’s interested.

Step #2: Hook up’s are the shit. Like your pimp stick... It’s a crucial hook up cuz chin checking and knuckling back are tools of the trade. So tilt your brim when you dealin in skin, cuz dome pieces let 'em know you paid. Then bling-bling-a-bling-a- bling cause no Ho can resist a platinum and diamond beveled ring.

Step #3: Peep game: Don't forget to take a shower! Cuz smelling so fresh and so clean ain't just a song homie... It's knowledge! Crack open a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier or some other fine pimp fragrance.

Pimp-in Yo Ride:
If you riding in a rust bucket... It’s time to say "Fuck It". Cuz no Ho works all night long, brings dough from Joe Blow and sings that song. So throw it in the gutter and go buy another.

You ain’t gotta be in a Caddie to be a Pimp Daddy. Just make sure it’s clean. When in doubt... Chevy Cutlass it out. Tint that shit first thing. Next, slap on some rims that spin... That’s how you start to get that skin.

Now step inside and peep yo ride. It’s sheep skin covers for bang’n ruckus... But fur dice and plasmas make your shit the toughest. One last thing: Keep pimp-in yo ride from the outside-in and the Ho’s will know you're pimp-in skin.

Pimp Game:
Pimp-in is a mind set... And you need to check yours. When you know you pimp-in, I mean really know your pimp-in, the Ho’s will too.

Game or (Pimp Juice) as it is sometimes called, is like your mojo. The kind of shit nigga’s kill fo. So peep the Pimp Game... By now your style should be in order and when you look like a pimp you can start to feel like a pimp.

You keeping up with PC homie? A'ight then... Time to move on to the Ho's.

Pimp-in Ho's
With pride you enter a room... Knowing every Ho sees you, and with style you glide through. But pay those Ho's no mind. Cuz as you peeped when you came through, know those Ho’s peeped too.

But don’t get it twisted, all that glimmering ice got those Ho’s listen’n. When the Ho’s come to holler, break 'em off Game that’s proper. Ask the questions, then listen, she’ll tell you her saga. Be her counselor, psychologist, priest and her father. Then she'll be that ho... now that’s the Don Dada.

Pimp-in Ain't Easy
But somebody’s gotta do it!

Look... you can’t have all the beauty and none of the booty. Like lazy-ass Ho’s or the damn Po-Po. Just when yo spot starts to make a knot, "One-Times" there to kill the whole plot. You gotta deal with the strung and the spun... and believe me that ain’t no fun. But the worst is the time in a cell, cuz you be mad as hell when you ain’t got no bail.

Sincerely yours,

Reggie "Pimp-a-nymph" Shabazz

Keepin' it Gangsta

hatemail #18:

Dear Doodoo Bitch,

sup foo?! what u talkin bout bein' the best "G" up in this piece? im the realest gangsta of all time! i killed 5 infants in 2 months! beat dat u fuckin cock sucka! i raped 17 women including those over 40 and some disabled chicks! i fucked them and sent them home packin'! i aint playin when i say that im gon beat yo ass to a fuckin pulp bitch!!!
you gosta understand that to become a real gangsta, y'all should live large, play big and always say "it aint nuthin but a G thang bay-be"
attached is a pic during my seventeenth birthday! during that time, i have killed da playa haters and fucked up the skanks!
i posted a pic because i want y'all to get a scary image of me.
this is Dave "D-Killa" Lugen signin' off! Hilltown Mall Killas! Represent!!!
Keepin it gangsta! what? what?!

boo-ya!!!

Undercover Fan

i admit, eversince i have started to update my blogsite, i have recieved 10's of thousands of mail everyday. but there is one mail that caught my eye. frankly, it made me get goosebumps because of the depth of this guys courage.

oh well, to cut the long story short, here is his letter. i have translated it so that everything would be easier:

Virago et nu bien (Greetings from Slovania)

i am Mickey Nubleski. i am big fan of NBA buit unfortoonatly i am also a secret spy from our country, and i was assigned to monitor and guard the activities of the nBA basketbol players on and off the court. i have been een the league for quite a while now and i can say that i am now a superstar in my own right. fans have dubbed me as the next iverson. i have earned the nicknames like Superstart, Slofast, Darkey and Killer. i play so good that i can control the management of the team (even the coach). i just tell him when i want to get into the game. he knows that he cannot tell me what to do. so i just enter the game whenever i want. this is the first time ever that i have come out of the open. that is why i want to show the world that i am not stoopid, i just want a low profile. attached is a picture with me taken by my bestfriend Joohan. thanks and Luk da Kuk( lick my penis)

certainly,

Mickey "Fine and Dine" Nubleski

Guess the Celebrity Look-a-like of the day!

wassup niggers!!?!?! well, its day two of the illest game on the net today!!! its the guess the celebrity look-a-like of the day!!! and now for our second entry...

seth sowa laryea is his name. he hails from lousiana... a baker and a school bus driver for the rich. the actor that he looks like starred in hit movies like, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Deep Impact, Along cam a spider, and the most recent muthafucka...batman begins...

shame on you if you dont guess it...

sir boss....



"didn't you get the memo?"

My only pic with a child star!

this was taken way back in 1986! i was with my family in NAIA that day. and we were going to eat in this filipino restaurant inside the airport itself when suddenly my mom saw this child star eating with his family in the same restaurant! she immediately took me from my seat and literally dragged me over to the table of the child star. can u guess who it is? let me give you a clue: he was linked to Kris Aquino...in the past or in the present...we'll never know...
here is the pic...




im the taller one...but who's the other kid? 1st 1 to guess is right

Guess the Celebrity Look-a-like of the day!

Every day, prizes will be given away to the first person to guess the celebrity look-a-like of the day! prizes range from straws to BMW 7 series!!! just place your answers on the comments link below!

JOIN NOW!!!!

our celebrity look-a-like of the week is...

JOHN RODERICK

When you see John Roderick in the streets you may think...i have seen him before!!! but where?!?!
let me give you a clue...
"get the heeeillll ouuttta heee"
get it?
ok, he co-starred in a romantic comedy that made us experience what it feels like to be a secret lover of a hollywood actress...
still not ringing a bell?!
ok last clue, he always wears the same wardrobe in every freakin' movie he's ever done!!! he also has bad teeth!
WHO THE FUNKERS IS HE?!?!?!

here is the pic...




going, going, bugger...

Animal Instinct

it has been proven time and again that animals can sometimes act just like our nextdoor neighbor, or our fucked up uncle, or our perverted cousin, or mr. friendly in the restroom...yes...animals sometimes do act just like humans do...but do humans act like animals?
let's find out...
it was 10 am eastern time in the LBC. three videographers namely, Anthony "quickshot" Chua, Paul "Immediate Cut" Santiago and Dexter "Brunch" Ramirez, were happily making a documentary entitled "Penguins and financial distress" when they encountered what could only be described as disturbing yet annoyingly realistic. they witnessed the single most valid and closest act of a penguin immitating a human being. a penguin assassin...this video was never changed nor edited...please be advised that children MAY act weird after this...
this was all real...
its entitled...Tio Paenguin

after this, the filmmakers were never the same...

Lawak ng utak ng lawak ng utak...

it was the year 2087...anarchy flooded the streets...
drugs and sex ruled the pre-school areas...
none stood up for the good...
more and more people changed their hairstyle...
except for two people...
one man...had a vision...
one woman...had a mission...

this summer...
watch out for...
SHOTA KILL: hindi pahuhuli ng uhaw...

Starring:

Manny Suntok as Tronman
Sheryl de Mesa as Babaegirl



Babaegirl:
All systems go!!!

Tronman:
Pasabay!!!

COMING SOON
to a theater near zoos...

myself is not me

i admit! tumaba ako! at umitim!
well...
i think it was a good move for me because i have successfully altered my looks from a sophisticated office girl to a flaming homosexual.
my friends told me before na i looked different and i should change...
"why change?" i said...
sabi nila, "basta"
you be the judge...

this was me back in high school...

this is me now....

notice any difference? personally, i think its the hair...

the fantastic adventures of Billy D and Bea the Cool monk!

it is now day 10 of my fantastic journey to the fidillanggi dessssert. there have been many wonderful experiences that only i and Bea the cool monk(my trustworthy baggage handler)

the experiences were:
1. encounter with the gigantic sand mouse.

there are many things i have learned in this fantastic voyage:
1. dont sleep while bieng bitten by a black mamba
2. put yourself in her shoes
3. kill time by shooting at innocent bystanders and senior citizens
4. the value of a woman is measured by the length of its dick
and finally
5. there should be no vanity when it comes to horse racing.

i have met different kinds of people in this trip. so far they are:
1. the malay five
2. the snake moms

i think this trip will soon come to and end because of the 50 tornados coming right at me. oh wait! Bea the cool monk has engaged herself in a one on one battle with the 49 tornados.... i guess its up to me now.... yes we did it!

Church's Marketing strategy

I would like to suggest the following marketing strategies for my Church:

1. For churches that have problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY Trespassers will be baptized!
2. "No God - No Peace; Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church would have a picture of two hands holding stone tabletson which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads,"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with redletters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
8. "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water beforeyou know how strong they are."
9. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."
10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"
11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and thepay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternalfire insurance soon."
18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------(U R)
19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."